Are you really listening?

Are you really listening?

What do workplace negotiations and family dinner chats have in common? Listening - they are both transactions after all. But what does it take to really listen? This week we draw on the experience of Industry professionals from our weekly Q&A series who say that 'to listen more' is the best advice they have received. We also bring you five steps from an acknowledged expert in the art of listening.

Best Advice...

Sophie Dodson

Sophie Dodson, Vice President at Goldman Sachs.

Ask thoughtful questions and you must listen to the response. There's nothing worse than being asked a question and as you're answering it, you can see the person scanning the room looking for the next best conversation to have.

Read full Q&A here

Andrew Whelan

Andrew Whelan, Director, Adviser Services at Milliman.

Something that is particularly relevant for me is that 'you have two ears, one mouth - so try to listen more than you talk'.

Read full Q&A here

Duncan Hodnett

Duncan Hodnett, Director of Institutional Business for Australia and New Zealand at Eaton Vance.

One of the best pieces of advice I was given came from a very well-known CIO of a large Superfund. It was my first investment committee review for their fund and afterwards, he pulled me aside and suggested that I should listen to what his committee had to say and not talk so much - this has boded me well ever since!" Read full Q&A here

Jess Murphy

Jess Murphy, Strategic Alliance Partner at Mercer.

I recognise that the impact and success I've had comes from giving people the space to speak and then listening and learning from them. In this day and age, when everyone is busy being busy, it's not often that you get people who will actively listen to you. I've found it's the best way to build strong relationships with people, by giving them your 100% attention.

Read full Q&A here

So how can we become better listeners?

Sound and communication expert expert, Julian Treasure, believes that we are losing our ability to effectively listen to one another. In one of his TED Talks, '5 ways to listen better', he said that 60% of communication is listening, a skill that he believes most of us aren't very good at.

The following are his 5 steps to improve conscious listening

  1. Silence - Practice three minutes of silence per day to re-calibrate your hearing and teach yourself to be comfortable in silence.

  2. 'The Mixer' - When you're in a noisy environment, such as a coffee shop or out on the street, listen for all the separate channels of sound that you might have otherwise tuned out. Identify how many different channels you can hear within that particular mix of sounds.

  3. Focus - Teach yourself to enjoy the mundane sounds around you. Julian loves the sound of his tumble dryer. Perhaps you'll choose to focus on the sound of the train charging along its tracks or the roaring hum of the jet plane soaring above you.

  4. Listening position - Perhaps the most important tip of all is understanding your listening positions. Are you listening actively or passively? Critically or empathetically? Being conscious of why you're listening, and being able to shift your listening position to suit your circumstances, is incredibly important.

  5. RASA - To round things off, Julian leaves us with a helpful acronym. RASA - receive, appreciate, summarise and ask.

Julian Treasure is the author of 'How to be heard.' Learn more here and access free training.